Hey there again everyone! I’m writing this for all of my introverts out there as I used to be a major one.  I never used to talk to new people just to talk to them find out who they were and make a new connection. I was never considered an outgoing person by any means.

nervous outgoing

There used to be people wanted to meet that I would be completely afraid of talking to. I was so scared I couldn’t say a word or talk to them without my heart beating extremely fast.  Getting this crazy feeling from within that would try to hold me back would make me feel really scared to talk.  I have come a long way, so I am writing to you today in order for you to become more outgoing

Start with eye contact

You have probably heard this before , but most of communication is body language and voice tone.  Naturally then, to become an outgoing person we should start here with the first step being to getting used to looking people in the eyes.

eye contact outgoing

When you look at people in the eyes long enough so they look away first, it subconsciously signals something to the other person – that you are confident and you are not afraid to look away. You automatically become someone of high value by not looking away.  So, when you move forward to talking with them, you can easily get them to want to be interested in you more from the beginning.

This will start to give you more confidence when you start talking to people.  Just to clarify: this isn’t the creepy type of eye contact, this is simply looking someone in the eyes confidently.  The difference here is subtle but with enough practice you will understand what the difference is.

Just say Hi

saying hi outgoing

Once you have nailed the eye contact down, lets move to actually talking.  What’s the easiest thing we can do here? Simply say Hi.  The first part of the conversation is the opener, so you must practice here.

As practice, everyone you walk by, look them in the eyes and just say hi. Do this with a friendly and enthusiastic tone. If you do this enough times your mind will slowly realize, that this isn’t a terribly bad thing.  No one is gonna kill me so starting a conversation with them. All of your negative feelings that come up when you feel this are not logical so do not listen to them.

Ask Questions

The Next thing I would do once you have said hi to enough people that it becomes natural is to ask them questions about themselves.  The truth here is that people love talking about themselves. In fact, its often their favorite topic.

questions outgoing

If you keep the conversation focused on them, you will stand to learn things about the other person, and have them like you more, all while being able to talk the conversation farther and practice being an outgoing person. The key is to keep poking away, maybe not too personal at first but as time goes on definitely more personal questions.

    Push the Conversation Farther and Farther

    asking for number outgoing

    Now that you have gotten comfortable asking a few questions, the last step is set a goal for yourself in the conversation.  Ask yourself: What do I want from this interaction?  If you are looking to make friends, then maybe getting the persons contact information is what you want.  But if you are looking to make a professional connection maybe getting their LinkedIn Information is what they want.

    The goal for this section is to always push the conversation, never settle for something you did not want. Continuously push and see how far you can take this conversation.  This is how you get out of your comfort zone.


    I really struggled in this area for a majority of my life and hope that this can help you overcome your struggles as well.  Thank you for making it to the end of this post. You are awesome for that. 
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