Worrying is something we all struggle with. Read on in order to understand how worrying can be stopped with work!
So let me tell a story!
About 4 months ago, I was working at NBC as a software developer. I was known as the developer to go to on all voice applications like Alexa and Google Home.
I was working on some bigger projects at the time. Big projects take tons and tons of time to create. Usually months of development work.
Now, the team I was on and my manager both had this core belief that what our teams job was to make small applications just to test a concept.
Now, those things are good to prove an idea but they do allow us to make an application in which money can be made. And in business making money is what actually matters over the long term.
As my contract was coming up, I went to the VP and asked to be converted to a full-time employee with benefits. Long story short. She told me no!
At this point I really believed that I would have no problem getting converted, as there was a need for my skill set and I was doing a good job (confirmed by multiple people not just my own confidence)
As soon as I heard this. I became worried. Thoughts of when I was jobless for 14 months came back up. Thinking like how hard it would be for me to get a job. I was thinking would I have to move back home because I could not afford the rent to live here in Manhattan. I was thinking things like, would my girlfriend and friends stop hanging out with me because I do not make money any more?
That’s the thing about worry. The more you let worry have control, the more it spawns other thoughts that are also worrisome.
Each worrisome thought, increases the likelihood of getting another one. And that second one is followed by a third and a fourth. Each one being more worrisome than the other.
Now I read Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. This book talks about how to control your emotions and actually was a huge inspiration for my book.
There’s a two step process for overcoming anxiety and worry. Let me explain what I did!
So first thing, you need to distract yourself of the worrisome thoughts. If you keep ruminating on them, you will keep feeling anxiety and not be able to focus or sleep. That was exactly what was happening to me.
So I started right away, hanging with friends, watched a comedy skit, anything that would take my mind off it like meditation and relaxing.
All of these things helped take my mind from I am worrying about this thing. Now I was in this relaxed state and could think more clear.
Challenge the Thoughts!
The second step here is to conflict those thoughts. Challenge them with everything you have.
Often times worrying just allows us to think the thoughts we are having are real. What you think is what you will attract, so if you keep worrying about the negative thoughts then you will have trouble.
So I asked myself questions like – What’s the worst that can happen? I would not have a job, and have to move home, but what are the chances of that happening?
I asked myself things like, what could I do to reduce the chances of that slim thing happening? I could ask people at my job if they know anyone at other companies who is hiring, I asked people at my company if other departments were hiring, I updated my resume, my LinkedIn, started emailing people that could potentially help me, I applied to a bunch of jobs.
Now that I realized that I have so much control over the problem, the worry disappeared. I was able to focus on my job and on getting a new position without any issues.
So after all of this, I almost had 3 job offers that were all better than the current job I had. I selected one that I thought I would enjoy the most and that’s where I am working now.
If I did not stop worry right in its tracks, I would probably have struggled to even get a job and attracted that negative thing in my life.
So I am glad to share this story with all of you, I hope that you take it and realize that worry is something you can control, no matter how bad it gets. Guys my goal for this quarter is to have 1000 subscribers! I need your help to achieve that though. Please share this with one person who you think needs this! I need your help for this. Remember no matter what you are facing you can overcome it!