Have you realized that maybe since college or high school you lost touch with some people you used to be so close with? Now you are feeling a little lonely and realize that you lost all these people that used to be so close to you. People that you told all your secrets too, or went to the gym with, or would spend every night with. I have come up with some techniques to keep in touch with people over time and make sure that you stay as close friends.
Why should you do this?
Why should you keep your friends? There are many reasons why you should go out of your way to keep your friendships. Your friends have friends and you can meet brand new people that way. If I told you the amount of people or good friends I have today that I met from other people you would be honestly shocked.
They may be able to help you get a job, help you when you are down, fill your life with fun and excitement. Your close friends who you keep in touch with regularly will be more willing to help you find a job or be there for you when you are down. Also people think higher of people who are well connected. If you have a vast social network, you will attracting new friends and acquaintances into your life. It never hurts to have another friend/ another connection that can help you.
How to Keep in Touch
Time to Hang out in person
If you are friends with someone the best thing you can do is hang out with them in person. This is the best thing you can do to make a relationship stronger. This is how moments are made that you will remember for the upcoming years.
If you were friends there has to be a reason why you were hanging out to begin with, you probably had something in common. As you have a job and things can get in the way relationships, and what not, time available may be dwindling, you need to make time in advance sometimes to hang out with some of these people. Plan ahead of time to do things with these people and do something that the other person enjoys and ideally something you both enjoy.
Regular FaceTime or Phone Calls
My signature method for keeping in touch with plenty of friends over a long period of time is to use technology. It gives the vibe of you actually being in the same room, letting you see body language and hear voice tone of each other which are so important when it comes to communication and relationships.
How I do this: I FaceTime a couple of friends in the middle of the week, ask them how their days are going and usually end up FaceTiming them once every 2-4 weeks. You may think this is not enough. Trust me, doing this one step alone puts you way ahead of everyone else.
The purpose of this is to make sure that you continue to stay present in the other persons life. It serves as a way to keep in touch when you cannot see the other person in person all the time. Hint: this is always a great way to tell if someone is truly your friend – is if they will actually pick up the FaceTime call.
I like to go out of my way to remember stories, or dates, or events that might be important to the other person. Then when that date comes, I can ask them about it and how it went. I either do this with a quick text message or phone call.
Asking people about what they like or care about is a great way to make them like you more. For instance, if I heard that they have a big interview coming up next week from my FaceTime or hanging out, I might shoot them a text after the interview and ask them how it went. Also remembering things like the persons birthday (without needing Facebook to remind you is crucial!)
Not for Everyone…
As time goes on you may lose touch with friends that you thought you cared greatly about. Do not be scared, as this is a sign that you are in a different point in life and you might not want to be friends with them. (If any of my friends are reading this though, you are not allows to do this to me!) Unless you truly cherish the friendship you should not go too far out of your way to be friends with people.
You do not need to be friends with someone forever and it is okay to say goodbye to old friends now that you are at a different point in life. This is a sign to make new friends, with your new interests.
Lets Be Better Friends!
Go out and get started! Lead the way by making plans in person, but I understand everyone can be busy. Using other forms of technology and asking other people about themselves is important and is a great addition especially when you are not close enough (distance wise) to see other people often. Overall, hope this helps strengthen any relationship you may have, or one that you want to go out and get!
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